I can feel it all the signs are there I don’t sleep well I feel sad all the time and now I am also not feeling well ……………………………
I have fallen into the hole of depression
I have tried to avoid it but nothing seems to help not really sure who I can talk to about the way I am feeling ………………………………………………………..
So I’ll begin at the beginning this all started on the 17th of the month of June we went to the beach and I was standing in the waves as they crashed into shore standing there.
I was thinking depression is like the waves it crashes up over you and then tries to pull you down in the undertow ,
Depression is the saddest and loneliest illness it has so many symptoms that start out as small nothing .
Aching joints sore bones disturbed sleep then the depression gets worse the next day
I got horrible news a good friend passed away and left me in charge of everything without telling me now
I have people I don’t even know mad at me.
I have to deal with all her stuff and the drama that comes with it I am overwhelmed and the one place I use to look forward to going to every week has became a place that
I am starting to dislike all because of one person she is being mean to me because I stood up to her .
I feel like I am in quicksand the more
I struggle the faster I sink
I feel alone and have started crying in secret ……………………
I have been skipping meals just not hunger
And even when I am hunger food doesn’t seem to taste good my depression medication has stopped working
I just want to curl up into a tiny ball and cry
No one hears me, understands me
I speak in silence
Hoping that someone will see my words,
Hoping to find love, it has arrived so divine
I wish for a stronger, better life
filled with everlasting touch
I dream the future, but hold the past
My body is brimmed with so many confusions
Am I really here experiencing fullness?
I must be, the pain is so real
The hurt I feel could never be imagined
But I will pull through into greatness
And destroy whatever faces into me
As I struggle I will fight until the end
Whenever it may come
I get a funny feeling,
It comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
Wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
My Mom says it’s just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
No one will ever be able to see.
Some say I’m psycho,
Some say I’m just weird.
It’s like I’m a different person,
And the old me just disappeared.
I get really edgy,
I want to commit suicide real bad.
Then I get a headache,
Followed by feeling sad.
I wish I could get help,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
It will some day.
Inaugural post while working on learning how to record, produce and edit the podcast. Includes an outline of the first topics we’ll cover.
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Follow this link to see what not to eat and this link on what you should add to your diet
As Salam Alikum readers I haven’t written in quite a while and for that I’m sorry I haven’t felt inspired to write , to be honest I have been having a very hard time with my moods , as your all know I suffer from bipolar nos that doesn’t respond to medications and in 2014 […]