The wait is on………………………………………

Hi all yeah I know I know I am a lousy blogger but I have been having one of those times you all know what I mean yes I am depressed yes my child has special needs and dealing with her every day is challenging , yes my son is behind ( had him evaluated by early education and so will be dealing with that as well)

I have been having more arguments with my husband mostly about the children and house keeping , We have different standards of clean he likes clean and everything in its place me as long as it is clean the mess doesn’t bug me .

I have been questioning everything as of recent like the way I was raised lets just say it was non traditional by all standards in the USA and even in most other countries I grew up alway on the outskirts of society my family class comes from the class of unwanted nobodies or what most people call white trash , when I was a child I never fit in with my peers growing up I was alway more mature and wise beyond my years even today I do not fit in with my peers they all seem to have found their niche in life and raising families I still feel like I am drifting lost in a vast sea of confusion that is laced with thick doses of heavy mind numbing depression .

I am still struggling with my faith and I have no one that I can talk to about it some days I feel so stupid and other days I just am to depressed .

Most people do not know that I suffer from depression I am really good at not showing how I feel not sure if this is a good thing sometimes it is a good thing other times it is a bad thing.