Sad Sorrows

I weep my heart out no one cares

slowly I have fallen 

down into the gray blackness of

despair 

anguishing for hours 

can barely left my head 

dragging myself through the days 

I paste on a mask and hope none sees through

my pain is always bubbling up, just beneath; 

never rising  

I hide the tears and fears 

depression slowly pulls me down 

lower than the darkest hour 

I cry out to Allah to give me relief from the never ending battle

I am bone weary how much longer must I fight against this losing battle 

I have fought for years and nothing ever changes 

the struggles of depression makes me forget how to smile or laugh

I feel like a big damp cold colorless fog holds onto me

Bipolar

Falling down my cheeks are big fat tears.

All the anguish within my heart,

Is leaking from my eyes.

I Cried despairing my emotions are plain.

To see

Yet they are not even acknowledged.

My moods are elicited, mess of indecision and anxiety concealed.

By a single mask of indifference,

No one seems to care,

Or take the time to know me,

I am adrift in an ocean of fears.

Battling with tides and currents

I have always been fiercely stricken with this affliction.

Doctors have given it labels.

But it is not so neatly labeled and packaged.

My mental health

Is not some random label.

No pills have helped me.

Talking about it won’t make it go away.

Bipolar is here to stay.

Please understand having a mental illness

Is not fun.

It isn’t cool.

And no one understands me and the personal hell.

I have endured all the adversity and stigma of it.

Yet I wake and fight fiercely to make my way.

Through the long darkness

That is thrust.

Upon me

I pray for strength.

And promise to personally forgive all whom betray,

Sorrows Of Lost Tomorrow’s

I am alone, without a voice or vision

I have great sorrows and greater regret in all the missed tomorrows.

Yesterday’s pasts repeat themselves with awful images running through my head.

Clouds blur my eyes,

And I don’t feel well,

my hearts in anguish dark on the round my tears tumble down from above,

Falling

On the ground there isn’t

A thousand new tears.

I have never seen such griefs.

my heart has shattered.

Into a thousand tiny shards of sapphire blue diamond

Cloaked in ruby red stained tears shredded of all my life’s blissful dreams and the hopes of all the days,
Dark midnight blue of storms immense,

In my own eyes

Tear Stained Face

Tear Stained Face

Tears you cannot see,

 It’s a me that I hide 

No one sees inside covered up and bound up 

I am not truely free 

Everyone thought I was happy 

The only things they ever seen 

The joy on the outside not the real me 

He came and took it away the unseen strife and pain

 Now a true joy begins to stream down my tear stained face.

Sweet December Warming

Sweet December Warming

There was the snow ice melting kisses chilly against the pink of our cheeks

There was the sky sleepy night watching bundled lovers play

There we romped rolling holding laughing together in a deep world of white

There was the love burning tender of lips pressed warming our cold rosy noses

Magic

Magic

Like a tulips awesome bloom in a warm

 Spring morning’s sunshine, 

Your love opens my heart to a love so divine. 

Our souls share this intense connection, 

Joining them as one gives total protection. 

Pure magic created inside my body and soul, 

When I feel your touch, 

I am finally whole. 

In a world where nothing is as it seems,

Is it really you, 

The man of my dreams? 

I hold my breath, 

Anxious and waiting.

To be with you always, 

Without any cover or hesitating. 

Your words are my pillar that keep me strong, 

Through thick and through thin, 

I promise to hold on. 

When I look in your eyes, 

I see my own reflection,

Staring back at me, 

Staring back at you,

Full of love and total conviction 

So you ask, 

“What is it that you see?” 

I respond 

“I see all of you and with you I feel privileged to be!”

Eid

Beautiful

Beautiful

“Allah does not delay a matter except

for Khair (goodness), and He does not

forbid a matter to you except for Khair,

and He does not send down upon you a

trial except for Khair; so do not be sad,

for the Lord of Khair doesn’t come with

anything except Khair.”

 

Love you

I love you throught the seasons
Through rain and shine
Blue skies and green trees and black seas
Nothing can keep me from you
I will travel to the ends of earth and back again just for you
Our souls are intwined
And
Our hearts are already binded together
This is true love
This is forever love
The kind that comes only once in a life time
To infindy and beyond
To you and only you I give my heart
And my body
You have lighted a etenal flame
Just with you gentle words and kind spirit
You reached out to me in my hour of deepest need
For this I love you
My words cannot do justice to how much I love you 
I can’t express it with 26 letter
Non with stars
I love you forever always beyond more most to infindy I love you

If I Knew..

If I Knew…5/24/02
If I knew it would be the last time
That I’d see you fall asleep
I would hug you more tightly
And pray the lord, your soul to keep
If I knew it would be the last time
That I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
And call you back for one more
If I knew it would be the last time
I could spare an extra minute
To stop and say, “I love you”
Instead of assuming you would know I do
But just in case I might be wrong,
And today is all I get,
I’d like to say how much I love you
And I hope we never forget
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
Young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
I get to hold you tight.