Sad Sorrows

I weep my heart out no one cares

slowly I have fallen 

down into the gray blackness of

despair 

anguishing for hours 

can barely left my head 

dragging myself through the days 

I paste on a mask and hope none sees through

my pain is always bubbling up, just beneath; 

never rising  

I hide the tears and fears 

depression slowly pulls me down 

lower than the darkest hour 

I cry out to Allah to give me relief from the never ending battle

I am bone weary how much longer must I fight against this losing battle 

I have fought for years and nothing ever changes 

the struggles of depression makes me forget how to smile or laugh

I feel like a big damp cold colorless fog holds onto me

Bipolar

Falling down my cheeks are big fat tears.

All the anguish within my heart,

Is leaking from my eyes.

I Cried despairing my emotions are plain.

To see

Yet they are not even acknowledged.

My moods are elicited, mess of indecision and anxiety concealed.

By a single mask of indifference,

No one seems to care,

Or take the time to know me,

I am adrift in an ocean of fears.

Battling with tides and currents

I have always been fiercely stricken with this affliction.

Doctors have given it labels.

But it is not so neatly labeled and packaged.

My mental health

Is not some random label.

No pills have helped me.

Talking about it won’t make it go away.

Bipolar is here to stay.

Please understand having a mental illness

Is not fun.

It isn’t cool.

And no one understands me and the personal hell.

I have endured all the adversity and stigma of it.

Yet I wake and fight fiercely to make my way.

Through the long darkness

That is thrust.

Upon me

I pray for strength.

And promise to personally forgive all whom betray,

Sorrows Of Lost Tomorrow’s

I am alone, without a voice or vision

I have great sorrows and greater regret in all the missed tomorrows.

Yesterday’s pasts repeat themselves with awful images running through my head.

Clouds blur my eyes,

And I don’t feel well,

my hearts in anguish dark on the round my tears tumble down from above,

Falling

On the ground there isn’t

A thousand new tears.

I have never seen such griefs.

my heart has shattered.

Into a thousand tiny shards of sapphire blue diamond

Cloaked in ruby red stained tears shredded of all my life’s blissful dreams and the hopes of all the days,
Dark midnight blue of storms immense,

In my own eyes

Life’s Warm Glow

Life’s Warm Glow
If you’ve ever seen
A beautiful sunset
Then you know it’s
Not seeing its warmth,
But letting yourself
Dream and feel its glow.
It holds spirits, souls,
Memories that rekindle
Every time you find yourself
Drifting away into its
Magnificent glory.
A sunset is nothing
Short of a warm loving
Moment that you forget
About life and its
Sorrows, its shortcomings.
It’s there to remind us all
Of life’s treasures
And beauty.

Compromises

Compromises
Crying deep inside and

Smiling at every face I see
It happens in real to people

And I am feeling now
Could I blame to the heart

Often It breaks,

And breaks me
None knows..

None should know
That what it is feels inside

It’s all words and promises
That we all live on,

Day after day

Did I keep my promises to all
Why do I cry when someone didn’t

I will keep forgiving day after day
Compromises are love is all about

Didn’t know it before…

Even now
Crying deep inside.

Even when smile

Marriage

Now you will feel no storms,

for each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

for each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no loneliness,

for each of you is companion to the other,

You are two persons,

but there is one life before you, and one home.

Turn together to look at the road you traveled,

to reach this—the hour of your happiness.

It stretches behind you into the past.

Look to the future that lies ahead.

A long and winding, adventure-filled road,

whose every turn means discovery,

new hopes, new joys, new laughter,

and a few shared tears.

May happiness be your companion,

May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead;

And through all the years to come.

Go this day to your dwelling place

and enter into your days together.

May your days be good and long

upon the earth.

Your adventure has just begun!

All I Ever Wanted

All I Ever Wanted

All I ever wanted was some place to hide.
I don’t want to fight you,

I’m being eaten by the nothing.
I AM the nothing,

And you are less;
Inside HIM I can hide.
He is the DEVIL,

He is my lover,
I can’t live like this,
It’s killing me!
All I ever wanted was to be free!
But these chains hold me down,
No matter how I fight!
These tears I cry,

These screams you cannot hear,

All of this inside of me,
And you wonder why?

All I ever wanted was to die.
Why won’t you let me?

Gentle Introspection

Gentle Introspection
You don’t want to be mine..
To always keep and hold.
Now what can I do

But spend some time being alone.
To avoid rejection

One can sit and do nothing..

Nothing asked so nothing denied

How long can someone wait..

So patiently.
Where is the knowing if all

Our desires can be met in a lifetime
Or is it just better

To let them all go?
Because trying too hard..

Has set me alight
And controlling doesn’t work anymore.

My heart in this darkness
Holds but one flame of truth.

A truth that flickers through this all.
There was never such a thing

As a perfection outside of me.
I only needed to realise….

 

Do you Love!

Do you Love!

Do you Love the way you smile

Do you Love the sky so blue

Do you Love the deep blue sea

Do you Love the winter so cold

Do you Love the summer so hot

Do you Love the tree so green

Do you Love,

Love it self!

Passion

Passion

A passion unknown

A heart unread

A soul unseen

Let me in I cry

Let me see,

Don’t hold back everything

Why try to hide anything?

Exist in me and you’ll see,

I love you and care for you

I gave you my life now give me yours