No one listens to me when I speak !
No one hears me when I shout!
I have no doubt that I will not be missed ,
what is the point of fighting when I am all alone ?
I have no place to call home,I am no rolling stone
I do not like to roam ,I am rootless and so alone
surrounded yet lonely no one sees my pain
no one sees my tears or hears my fears
Awhile back I mentioned a
few strategies
that help me be productive at work. Everyday Health’s Madeline Vann names
8 Career Success Strategies for Bipolar Disorder
in a recent
feature
. I excerpted from her piece below:
1. Set Up Some Structure
“Ideally a very structured work environment would go a long way to preventing stressors,” says [psychiatrist Alan Prossin, MBBS, a clinical lecturer in the department of psychiatry at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor]. Career success strategies include getting as much consistency as possible in terms of the projects you work on, your deadlines, the people on your team, job description, hours, and your understanding of chains of command.
2. Shun Shift Work
Prossin says that one of the most important elements of a structured workplace is consistent scheduling. People with bipolar disorder have more problems managing their illness with a schedule that requires working nights, switch shifts…
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Why do I bother ?
Why do I wake up and struggle every day seems to me there must be a easier way .
All I feel is pain and hurt even my dreams are filled with despair !
Why am I the only one who cares ?
Why do I keep trying to repair my mind it’s broken
There is no fixing it , I’d be better off dead, then I wouldn’t be a burden or a stress and I’d be one less thing people to worry about.
No one really needs me and my broken brain to worry about.
All I do is drag everyone in my life down into this deep dark hole filled with doubt despair , loneliness and sadness
I am a huge mess
I want to cry
I want to die
I am sick of being in pain
I feel alone and ignored
Like I am tucked away and Forgotten
My pain is strong my body is weak my mind I must speak
I wanna go home
I am tired and no longer want to roam
I wanna go home
But I have no home
I was born while on a roam
I am all alone
Depressed , Frustrated ,Annoyed, crying not sleeping at all !
My brain is broken I can’t learn arabic and I swing in moods !
Moods cycling alot more rapidly my head is spinning around!
Help me I am falling
Down
Down
Down under the ground
Down under the depression depression has come around and sucked me back into the black murky quirky quicksand of murky mud and gray fogs lined in doubt and sorrows with no ways to tommorrow
I am tired of being sad
So I choose not to be sad I will not dwell on all the Sad crap that I cannot change if it happened it was suppose to happen for a reason that only Allah knows why
when I am depressed I don’t care about myself I don’t brush my teeth or hair , I don’t change my underwear I just don’t care so why bother!
All I want to do is hid in the dark and cry , I just stare blankly at the ceiling my mind is broken beyond repair medication won’t fix it all medications do is make me feel nothing numb like a zombie . I try and try and all I can accept and do is cry , sometimes I wonder why don’t I just die wouldn’t everyone else just be better off if they didn’t have to deal with me and my messed up shit of a broken brain and all that it drains out of everyone?
