Sad Sorrows

I weep my heart out no one cares

slowly I have fallen 

down into the gray blackness of

despair 

anguishing for hours 

can barely left my head 

dragging myself through the days 

I paste on a mask and hope none sees through

my pain is always bubbling up, just beneath; 

never rising  

I hide the tears and fears 

depression slowly pulls me down 

lower than the darkest hour 

I cry out to Allah to give me relief from the never ending battle

I am bone weary how much longer must I fight against this losing battle 

I have fought for years and nothing ever changes 

the struggles of depression makes me forget how to smile or laugh

I feel like a big damp cold colorless fog holds onto me

Bipolar

Falling down my cheeks are big fat tears.

All the anguish within my heart,

Is leaking from my eyes.

I Cried despairing my emotions are plain.

To see

Yet they are not even acknowledged.

My moods are elicited, mess of indecision and anxiety concealed.

By a single mask of indifference,

No one seems to care,

Or take the time to know me,

I am adrift in an ocean of fears.

Battling with tides and currents

I have always been fiercely stricken with this affliction.

Doctors have given it labels.

But it is not so neatly labeled and packaged.

My mental health

Is not some random label.

No pills have helped me.

Talking about it won’t make it go away.

Bipolar is here to stay.

Please understand having a mental illness

Is not fun.

It isn’t cool.

And no one understands me and the personal hell.

I have endured all the adversity and stigma of it.

Yet I wake and fight fiercely to make my way.

Through the long darkness

That is thrust.

Upon me

I pray for strength.

And promise to personally forgive all whom betray,

Sorrows Of Lost Tomorrow’s

I am alone, without a voice or vision

I have great sorrows and greater regret in all the missed tomorrows.

Yesterday’s pasts repeat themselves with awful images running through my head.

Clouds blur my eyes,

And I don’t feel well,

my hearts in anguish dark on the round my tears tumble down from above,

Falling

On the ground there isn’t

A thousand new tears.

I have never seen such griefs.

my heart has shattered.

Into a thousand tiny shards of sapphire blue diamond

Cloaked in ruby red stained tears shredded of all my life’s blissful dreams and the hopes of all the days,
Dark midnight blue of storms immense,

In my own eyes

Marriage

Now you will feel no storms,

for each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

for each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no loneliness,

for each of you is companion to the other,

You are two persons,

but there is one life before you, and one home.

Turn together to look at the road you traveled,

to reach this—the hour of your happiness.

It stretches behind you into the past.

Look to the future that lies ahead.

A long and winding, adventure-filled road,

whose every turn means discovery,

new hopes, new joys, new laughter,

and a few shared tears.

May happiness be your companion,

May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead;

And through all the years to come.

Go this day to your dwelling place

and enter into your days together.

May your days be good and long

upon the earth.

Your adventure has just begun!

a very beautiful poem

A very beautiful poem 

As if a spy from you
Were  watching my inclinations,
And another were watching
My gaze and tongue.

Whenever my eyes saw,
After you, any sight
Displeasing to you, I thought:
They’ve seen me.

And whenever from my mouth,
There emerged, in front of you,
A word meant for another than you,
I thought: 

They’ve heard me,

And whenever through the secret of my heart
There passed, after you, a thought
For another than you,
They pull up on my reins.

These brothers sincere — I wearied
Of their speech
And seized back from them
My gaze and tongue.

Renunciation could not console me
For their loss
Until I experienced you
Witnessed in every place.

Magic

Magic

Like a tulips awesome bloom in a warm

 Spring morning’s sunshine, 

Your love opens my heart to a love so divine. 

Our souls share this intense connection, 

Joining them as one gives total protection. 

Pure magic created inside my body and soul, 

When I feel your touch, 

I am finally whole. 

In a world where nothing is as it seems,

Is it really you, 

The man of my dreams? 

I hold my breath, 

Anxious and waiting.

To be with you always, 

Without any cover or hesitating. 

Your words are my pillar that keep me strong, 

Through thick and through thin, 

I promise to hold on. 

When I look in your eyes, 

I see my own reflection,

Staring back at me, 

Staring back at you,

Full of love and total conviction 

So you ask, 

“What is it that you see?” 

I respond 

“I see all of you and with you I feel privileged to be!”

Bitter Night

Bitter Night

The wind moans forlornly through the trees. 

Dog wails, 

Grieving his missing master.

 An owl calls,

 But is not answered. 

A lone coyote howls into the night. 

And then in the ensuing silence, 

Even the cold dispassionate moon 

Hides its face from the grieving widow 

And from the icy avalanche grave.

Bright Angel, Dark Lover

Bright Angel, Dark Lover

My bright angel, 

My good father. 

When I fall into darkness

 I see your light,

 You help me to climb back out. 

Please don’t let me fall, 

Take my hand and pull me out, 

Out of my myrad of sins. 

My dark lover, 

My dark angel. 

When I wander into the light,

 I see your darkness shining back. 

You bid me to come to you. 

Hold out your hands to me. 

Don’t let me wander too far, 

Hold my hand and lead me away, 

To our home.

Look at me

Look at me

Look at me can’t you see my eyes do not lie 

The tears that I cry are only mere images of pain 

Do you care 

That  I Am here 

Do you believe in me 

Look at me can’t you see my eyes tell the story of my heart

Empty Heart

Empty Heart

“Love is something like the wind 

You can’t see it, 

But  you can feel it 

I believe that statement 

It’s like how my heart is right now 

My heart is out, given to another 

But I’ve nothing to show for it 

Except vast emptiness and endless wishes 

He said he needs time and I need to wait 

And here I am…

Waiting as patiently as I can 

Though my patience grows weary at points 

But I know he’s honest with his words 

And his words are ones that I will obey 

Because he has my heart 

He’s the only one who can truthfully make me whole once again 

I miss him more than anything, 

He’s my world 

And my heart is his 

And here I wait…

As patiently as I can 

For my empty heart to be whole once again.