as salam alikum I know I haven’t blogged in a while I have been struggling with my health and faith
Yes I admit I am having a hard time my health is causing problems some days I barely get out of bed let alone out of the house.
Most people who see me think I have a great life what they do not understand is I fight every hour , minute and second with a crippling overwelming depression not sure how to describe depression to someone who’s never had it but here goes my attempt at it .
Imagine that you are stuck in a mixture of thick sluggy mud and quicksand mixed together the more you move the faster you sink and to make it worse you are surrounded by a thick dense grayish fog and you do not know what way is up or down but if you move it is a huge fight just to breath this is what it is like to live with major depression .
Depression affects everything in your life and the bad part is by the time you realize you are depressed it is hard to get out of it talking can help as can writing and medication but the road to recovery is very long and hard with lots of twists and turns sometimes you are depressed for no reason that you can see , the bad thing is when you are depressed you kinda go numb so as not to feel all the pain , being numb is never good because you miss out on all the feeling yes feelings are good everyone has them some people are good at dealing with them and other people are good at hiding them .
What I would like to tell people about depression is it is crippling when you are in the gripes of it it makes life so hard and even a simple task can turn into a hours long chore ,
example : getting dressed can seem so overwelming that one must just break it into sereval other steps to just get to the end goal like get out of bed and find the clothes then struggle into the clothes , this is one reason I love the hijab and jilabas because they are for the most part one peice pull on and go. There has been many a days when the hijab and jilaba have saved the day and made me look presntable to the public yes I use them to cover my faults and short comings no one but I and my husband know what I wear under them yes many a times I simple just pull them over the pajamas I was wearing.
Depression is a sad isloting illness it is a hidden disease that leaves deep invisable scars yes depression leaves a mark and noone but the depressed person can tell you how deep the scars go.
Depression is hard to live with and deal with it is a stuggle just to get through each day sometimes the only way to mange is by the hour minute second yes sometimes just getting through the day is all one can do .Depression is socially isolating and isolating leads to depression it is hard to stop the cycle of depression