I know God has you in his arms.
Every single night
I just wish I was the one.
That was holding you so tight.
I think of the years that could have been.
And how the years would go.
And how I would be your mommy.
And that I would be able to show
To show to everyone that I love you.
And how much you mean to me.
For when it comes to Christmas time
You are the only star up on the tree.
I love you son♡
To my first born written before I became a Muslim
Hands determinedly digging
through sand, rocks and shells
pounding, pumping and preparing
magnificent mounds of living structure.
Like castles of sand
on a burning beach,
our cities emerge
from lifeless barren soil.
A network of confusion
erupting into violence and hate.
Only the rich can have
the upper windows
that look out and on, away
from the mess their hands
have formed.
The others, stifled
sitting in houses
awaiting death.
Seizing, grasping any kind of joy
that comes their way,
even if their joy claims
that of others.
Stagnated youth, lying helpless at the end of a needle
Stolen innocence of childhood appeasing the lusts of men
Tyrannical credit cards
seizing wealth that does not exist,
pulling people into poverty
in the name of freedom.
Beware! the tide always comes
what we think is permanent, stable and prolonged
disappears in an instant.
Our castles of sand
that cost so much of life and beauty to build,
will one day,
all be washed away.
I weep my heart out no one cares
slowly I have fallen
down into the gray blackness of
despair
anguishing for hours
can barely left my head
dragging myself through the days
I paste on a mask and hope none sees through
my pain is always bubbling up, just beneath;
never rising
I hide the tears and fears
depression slowly pulls me down
lower than the darkest hour
I cry out to Allah to give me relief from the never ending battle
I am bone weary how much longer must I fight against this losing battle
I have fought for years and nothing ever changes
the struggles of depression makes me forget how to smile or laugh
I feel like a big damp cold colorless fog holds onto me
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
There’s not a day that doesn’t goes by
That I don’t think of you
You are always on my mind
And always in my heart
And that is something you can’t tear apart.
I will always be your mommy.
And I will always love you so
But the day god took you from me.
Was the day you had to go?
You had to go to a better place.
But you will always be around.
For my thoughts of you
Is what makes me think?
What it would have been like if you were around
I love you son more than anything♡
Falling down my cheeks are big fat tears.
All the anguish within my heart,
Is leaking from my eyes.
I Cried despairing my emotions are plain.
To see
Yet they are not even acknowledged.
My moods are elicited, mess of indecision and anxiety concealed.
By a single mask of indifference,
No one seems to care,
Or take the time to know me,
I am adrift in an ocean of fears.
Battling with tides and currents
I have always been fiercely stricken with this affliction.
Doctors have given it labels.
But it is not so neatly labeled and packaged.
My mental health
Is not some random label.
No pills have helped me.
Talking about it won’t make it go away.
Bipolar is here to stay.
Please understand having a mental illness
Is not fun.
It isn’t cool.
And no one understands me and the personal hell.
I have endured all the adversity and stigma of it.
Yet I wake and fight fiercely to make my way.
Through the long darkness
That is thrust.
Upon me
I pray for strength.
And promise to personally forgive all whom betray,
I am alone, without a voice or vision
I have great sorrows and greater regret in all the missed tomorrows.
Yesterday’s pasts repeat themselves with awful images running through my head.
Clouds blur my eyes,
And I don’t feel well,
my hearts in anguish dark on the round my tears tumble down from above,
Falling
On the ground there isn’t
A thousand new tears.
I have never seen such griefs.
my heart has shattered.
Into a thousand tiny shards of sapphire blue diamond
Cloaked in ruby red stained tears shredded of all my life’s blissful dreams and the hopes of all the days,
Dark midnight blue of storms immense,
In my own eyes
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Life’s Warm Glow
If you’ve ever seen
A beautiful sunset
Then you know it’s
Not seeing its warmth,
But letting yourself
Dream and feel its glow.
It holds spirits, souls,
Memories that rekindle
Every time you find yourself
Drifting away into its
Magnificent glory.
A sunset is nothing
Short of a warm loving
Moment that you forget
About life and its
Sorrows, its shortcomings.
It’s there to remind us all
Of life’s treasures
And beauty.
Compromises
Crying deep inside and
Smiling at every face I see
It happens in real to people
And I am feeling now
Could I blame to the heart
Often It breaks,
And breaks me
None knows..
None should know
That what it is feels inside
It’s all words and promises
That we all live on,
Day after day
Did I keep my promises to all
Why do I cry when someone didn’t
I will keep forgiving day after day
Compromises are love is all about
Didn’t know it before…
Even now
Crying deep inside.
Even when smile
Dpressedmuslimah 