Feeling mad as a hatter
To whom nothing much matters
I am quite the artisan when it comes to rhymes and melodies
Not much else I’m afraid
In the end, she is the only sunshine that penetrates the rainy days in my brain
Sadness gave over to rage, rage spiraled quickly into despair
It’s an important part of your journey. After you have had several tantrums, flung yourself down in defeated despair, attempted to medicate yourself out of the feelings you are having, and perhaps just withdrawn into your “safe place” of feeling nothing at all…you may (or may not) finally realize that you *have* to figure this out. The situation may seem like a prison cell with no outlet, and it may seem that someone else, someone who does not have anything good in store for you, holds the keys and all the power over your life.
You know I found that , Depression is rage turned inward .
Most people don’t recognize that .
This did not happen over night , and I fell off the wagon a number of times I can tell you . You see as bipolar , we tend to see the world as either ” black or white ” no grey , either all good or all bad . Its the extremes that define the condition right ?
I started looking at things , carefully and delayed my reaction to things ( Its really hard at times , when you are caught in the moment and the emotion ) I started
looking for the grey ,
I found it a little at a time . Sometimes , I found that things well they sucked , but at the same time it wasn’t the worst thing in the world sometimes they were in fact ” life altering bad ”
There were times where I just gave myself ” permission ” to feel bad like this past year .
I didn’t beat myself up over feeling bad . On the thought of ” suicidal ” thoughts ” this is controversial I know . But when I felt like I wanted to give up . I suggested this to “others as well ” I forced my self to ” visualize my funeral and my family and friends ” at my funeral .