Numbness

Numbness
I sit here and think should I do it again
Feel the numbness through my body
Watch the blood seep through my veins out my skin
Should I?
Or shouldn’t I?
That’s the question
What if I go to far this time
What if I do it to much
I would do it to feel the numbness run through me
Oh I want the chill to run through my spine to just feel that numb again
I know I can’t, when I think I want to
I know I can’t, I don’t want them to cry
I don’t want myself to rut in the ground
I don’t want this to end
But if only I could feel the numbness again