Bipolar and Suicide in the news


Well bipolar is in the news again and it is being liked with a famous actor he struggled with depression/bipolar along with addition most of his life and in a moment of hopelessness he decided to end his life so now its a hot trending topic .pray

I remember watching the movie What Dreams may come and feeling very sad it touched a raw spot that I haven’t talked about much , My father killed himself when I was 15 and then a year and 6 months later my uncle (mother’s brother ) also killed himself , after it happened no one really talked about how they felt or anything it was just lets move on and forget no counseling or therapy my mom didn’t believe in it . It took me years to seek and accept that yes I have a mental illness and no I can not change that! I now choose to deal with my moods through prayer to Allah , journaling , Mood tracking ( here’s the tracker I use Diet I have eliminated junk foods and most processed foods as well as sodas from my diet  excising I usually walk and talking about how I feel. One thing I have learned is if it works use it if it don’t stop wasting time on it and find something that works.salah


Came across this quote in regards to Robin Williams and had to share.

“Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don’t kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, “He fought so hard.” And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.” – Sally Brampton

what dreams

 As a survivor of suicide myself,( yes I did try once in my life and it failed and was so very painful) I can assure you … when you reach the state of belief that the world would be a better place without YOU in it — the movement to attempt is not selfish. It is lonely. And numb. And of a completely diseased mindset.
100’s of people I have talked with who are either suicide survivors or family/friends who have been affected/effected by suicide, one thing rings truer than true. The ones who commit suicide are not narcissistic. A narcissist would not hurt themselves. These folk are not self-absorbed. They do not even remotely like themselves, let alone think of themselves as better than or above all. When one reaches the place of actually acting on the taking of their life … they are alone. In their mind, in their heart, in their soul…they are alone. And they truly think the world would be better — without them in it.

The craziest part of all of this is that MOST people who struggle with deep depression hide it from the world with humor. With ‘normalcy.’ We go about our day to day and we hide in our darkness. We bury it because it is not pretty or culturally acceptable.

The problems all start getting worse when they are all bottled up one needs to express how they feel even if it’s like crap, blah’s or in so much pain just talking about it can help as can medication and routines people need to pull their heads out of the sand and start taking bipolar, depression , sadness call it what you will like a serious disease and treating it as such if it was treated like a heart attack there would be a plan of how to treat and mange the risks.

Routines , diet, excise , medications and therapy , support groups , mood tracking and religion all have a place in fighting bipolar 10259232_10152472378868755_6481177094529623212_o



What the heck is ‘letting go’ ?

What the heck is ‘letting go’ ?

Does that mean that I don’t feel ?
that I don’t want,
that I don’t love ?
Is it numbness ?
When we define letting go as these things, letting go becomes an impossible task.
It’s almost like we are asked to stop being human, that we will become vegetables.
But letting go allows you to be more human. A peaceful, reassured, productive human being.
*Letting go is true tawakkul.*
As we are told, we have three basic desires:
-the desire for control,
-the desire for security and
-the desire for approval.
-the desire for control,

These desires then generate our emotions- we may feel apprehensive, afraid, nervous, enraged (and countless others).
And those emotions produce our millions of thoughts- ‘what if..’… ‘this situation is sooo bad…’
And those thoughts and emotions imprison us.
We act or don’t act
not based on what is best, but because our desires dominate the conversation in our head.

So letting go is the act of freeing yourself of these desires by entrusting your affairs to the One who ultimately has control control over your affairs. Too theoretical?

What are the practical effects of letting go i.e. tawakkul?
We sometimes think tawakkul means not doing anything.
We think that letting go means letting go of something physically but still being attached to it in our hearts. 
And that’s where the emotional roller-coaster starts. 
But it’s actually the opposite.
If you let go, your thoughts and emotions are not constrained by your desires- more specifically, your lacks (because you desire only that which you don’t have).
So your actions are not dictated by your out-of-control emotions or you being overly
cautious because you are scared, or a ridiculous sense of pride or stubbornness.
But rather, because you are free,    you can actually make decisions you are comfortable with.
You let go because at the end of the day, you know that you have to do the best you can with your limited resources, and with Allah is the decision.
And not just any decision, but the BEST decision.
If you can honestly feel that in your heart, then you know you have let go.
You feel utter and absolute peace.    Who else would you rather have   control over all of your affairs ?!
Try it.
You might feel scared to begin with.  It may even cause tears. Because letting go is easy but
the nafs makes it seem like a mountain.
We are not used to feeling freedom. And the nafs wants us to hold on to what we do know,
even though what we know is causing us unnecessary drama
And once you let go, actually doing things becomes much easier. and so does not doing things, for that matter.
Because your nafs is at peace – an-nafs al-mutma’ina- and therefore you know what the
situation requires.

Sometimes it requires persistence.
Sometimes it requires for you to wait.
Sometimes it requires you leaving it completely and doing something else. 
And it could also require you to go back to that which you left.