Route of the Heart

Route of the Heart
What calls you,
The north, the south?
Home is a place that’s real
To our hearts, warming them.
Knowing all the time
As it calls us that
It’s a place so sublime.
Waiting and wanting us.
Like the sun and the moon,
Calling each other,sharing the sky.
It’s never too soon,
Or too late to follow
The call HOME.
The caring arms of home
Are always open and loving.
Where your HEART is, there you

Will truly find your smile

Are You Fronting?

How many of us are ‘fronting?’ I just watched a discussion about social isolation and loneliness and realised that so many of us are probably really lonely. Even those of us who are surrounded by people physically. How many of us via physical or mental illness, lack of confidence, age, obesity, poverty, or simply being […]

https://theeditorsjournal.wordpress.com/2016/02/18/are-you-fronting/

I am struggling

as salam alikum readers I have been struggling with my moods , it is hard and it effects everyone around me .  Being ill with bipolar that doesn’t respond to medication is very hard , it is like being thrown on a roller coaster without being ask before hand. It has been causing issues in […]

https://diaryofarevertmuslimah.wordpress.com/2016/02/08/i-am-struggling/

Dear Mum, I’ve got depression…

Eavesdropping slightly and picking up on small bits of a conversation, I overheard a child a few days ago telling her parents that she felt anxious. Unfortunately I didn’t stick around long enough to hear what this little girl, no older than 7 years of age, was anxious about. I did however, hear her father […]

https://thesuitcasekiddealingwithabrokenhome.wordpress.com/2015/12/27/dear-mum-ive-got-depression/

Breaking up with a Friend: Why It’s the Hardest Breakup of All

It’s silly, but when I was younger I used to have a fridge magnet that summed up my very-picky social life. The writing on it said “Friends Are The Family We Choose For Ourselves”, and I used to smile from ear to ear every time I read those words. My definition of a best friend […]

http://muslimwords.com/2015/08/14/breaking-up-with-a-friend-why-its-the-hardest-breakup-of-all/

Bipolar and Suicide in the news

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Well bipolar is in the news again and it is being liked with a famous actor he struggled with depression/bipolar along with addition most of his life and in a moment of hopelessness he decided to end his life so now its a hot trending topic .pray

I remember watching the movie What Dreams may come and feeling very sad it touched a raw spot that I haven’t talked about much , My father killed himself when I was 15 and then a year and 6 months later my uncle (mother’s brother ) also killed himself , after it happened no one really talked about how they felt or anything it was just lets move on and forget no counseling or therapy my mom didn’t believe in it . It took me years to seek and accept that yes I have a mental illness and no I can not change that! I now choose to deal with my moods through prayer to Allah , journaling , Mood tracking ( here’s the tracker I use http://www.moodtracker.com). Diet I have eliminated junk foods and most processed foods as well as sodas from my diet  excising I usually walk and talking about how I feel. One thing I have learned is if it works use it if it don’t stop wasting time on it and find something that works.salah

 

Came across this quote in regards to Robin Williams and had to share.

“Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don’t kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, “He fought so hard.” And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.” – Sally Brampton

what dreams

 As a survivor of suicide myself,( yes I did try once in my life and it failed and was so very painful) I can assure you … when you reach the state of belief that the world would be a better place without YOU in it — the movement to attempt is not selfish. It is lonely. And numb. And of a completely diseased mindset.
100’s of people I have talked with who are either suicide survivors or family/friends who have been affected/effected by suicide, one thing rings truer than true. The ones who commit suicide are not narcissistic. A narcissist would not hurt themselves. These folk are not self-absorbed. They do not even remotely like themselves, let alone think of themselves as better than or above all. When one reaches the place of actually acting on the taking of their life … they are alone. In their mind, in their heart, in their soul…they are alone. And they truly think the world would be better — without them in it.

The craziest part of all of this is that MOST people who struggle with deep depression hide it from the world with humor. With ‘normalcy.’ We go about our day to day and we hide in our darkness. We bury it because it is not pretty or culturally acceptable.

The problems all start getting worse when they are all bottled up one needs to express how they feel even if it’s like crap, blah’s or in so much pain just talking about it can help as can medication and routines people need to pull their heads out of the sand and start taking bipolar, depression , sadness call it what you will like a serious disease and treating it as such if it was treated like a heart attack there would be a plan of how to treat and mange the risks.

Routines , diet, excise , medications and therapy , support groups , mood tracking and religion all have a place in fighting bipolar 10259232_10152472378868755_6481177094529623212_o

 

 

Ok I haven’t written in quite a while guess i have been so wrapped up in my head

At night I lay in bed tossing and turning

I weep quietly

many tears I do shed

I am shedding tears and keeping company with fears and worries

This is how depression takes over it starts small and it grows from there ,

it creeps in on silent foggy feet

wraps it energy sucking dullness around you like a heavy cloak

it blocks out all the joy it steals all emotions but sadness and loneliness

then comes the weeping and the gray cloudy days one has trouble remembering things and concentrating important tasks

get pushed to the back as the nagging voices of self doubt   and negative creep in and ruin your self esteem