Forever Not Yours

Your presence graces my dreams
I reach for you as you drift away
Your stare is full of comfort,

So peaceful
I find solace in your arms
I sit on the windowsill,

Writing
Anticipating your embrace,

Your soft smile
Yet I am jaded in your love
I am left behind in the dust
I cannot get up to run away
Your love shackles me,

It’s a weight tied
So heavy around my ankles
It prevents me from running
But my acidic tears burn the shackles away
And I am free once again
I will not succumb to your sweet imprisonment
I will not surrender to your pacifying touch
I will not be enticed by your corruptive love
I will not be broken again

 

poem of healing 3/3/2005

I remember
The pillow smashing
My face

I don’t remember
The sweet caress
Of love

I remember
The pain

I don’t remember
The hospital stay

I remember
Fear of sleep
Of being weak

I don’t remember
Silence

I remember
Noise
Heavy through the air

I don’t remember
Being safe
What is safe?

I remember
Mistrust
I don’t remember
Trust

I remember
The lock jiggling in the door
As he tries his key

I don’t remember
Calling the police

I remember
The door trembling
As he kicks it

I don’t remember
The calm

I remember
Fear
The hatred in
His eyes
I don’t remember
Thanking the police

I remember
His last lie
I love you!
I never hurt you!

I don’t remember
His last truth

I don’t remember
How long the police were there
Like a wall of true blue
Shielding me from a monster
I as white as a lotus
I remember

The stillness after
The police left

I don’t remember
The time
I couldn’t find the clock
I remember

The coldness
The fear, panic and crying

I don’t remember
Sleeping
I remember
Dawn, bright and cold
Twittering birds
I don’t remember
Dressing

I remember
The doctor’s visit
The pain

I don’t remember
The trip home

I remember
Sweet children’s
Voices

I don’t remember
Dinner
I remember
Sweet sleeping children
I don’t remember
Silence

I do remember
That I am human
And
Deserve respect

I don’t remember
Crying
I do remember
Feeling relief.

I wrote this poem in 2005 about domestic violence , it happened to me and this was my way to heal from it.

Pain

Does it get easier as time passes? They say time is the healer of all things Yet I am still waiting a lifetime later   Zainab Bint Husain

https://reflectionsofataalibah.wordpress.com/2016/01/19/pain/

The virtues of ruqyah and du’aa’s to be recited therein

Q) What are the virtues of a man reciting ruqyah for himself? What is the evidence for that? What should he say when he recites ruqyah for himself?. A) Praise be to Allaah.   1 – There is nothing wrong with the Muslim reciting ruqyah for himself. That is permissible; indeed it is a good Sunnah, for […]

https://strivingforjannaah.wordpress.com/2015/11/02/the-virtues-of-ruqyah-and-duaas-to-be-recited-therein/