Alone and Suffering

You see her standing there

The blank sonic look  on her face

You ask her what is wrong

She replies I’m fine

When in reality she is in pain

She hides the pain and hurt no one sees it

She cries herself  to sleep

In the morning she struggles her day

She has given up on ever finding a  friend

She silently prays that the pain will end

She has battled this demon that people call loneliness and depression she don’t know when

No one understands and care how she feels

She silently Prays that Allah will grant her relief

She feels isolated from the muslim community never really fitting in anywhere

Mostly she stays to herself , best thing you could do to help her is reach out offer to have tea or just talk loneliness hurts more than you know

Please do not judge her she is trying her best to survive  taking it one day at a time

Kindness and caring go along way so does saying as salam alikum sister how are you doing and actually listening because under the softly spoken I’m fine there is a catch and pause in her voice and the look in her eyes cries I’m not ok please hug me and let me know I’m not alone!

But most of the time it is ignored and she just suffers in silence alone as always

 

 

Blue Is…

Blue Is…

Blue is the ocean
Blue is the sky
Blue are the tear drops
people have cried.
Blue is a rain storm
Blue is a flavor
Blue is a summertime,
moments I savior
Blue is a friendship
Blue is a feeling
a broken heart
that’s just begun healing
Blue is the earth
Blue are the stars
Blue’s all around us
this whole world of ours

Gone

in the cold pale morn
her cold dead lips
shorn
she wasn’t in love
she never was
the death that took her was
quite
excruciating
doctors diagnosed
Depression
but that’s not
why she died
she died
of
despair
loneliness
because
no one cared
no one called
her on the phone
she had no one
no one even
knew where
she lived
at work she was overlooked
the best in her
field
but
no one
noticed
cared
her friends
or so they called
themselves
described her
as
withdrawn
quite
shy
soft-spoken
very timid
around guys
she died
because
no one
loved her
her heart
broke
from
lack of
affection
of human contact
one day
she decides
to disappear
she thought
what’s the use
no one cares
all they do is give me abuse
physical
mental
sexual
i get bullied
and
harassed
at work
by some weirdo jerk
who grabs my ass
the day
she died from
lack of love
no one noticed
they didn’t
see the empty
shell
she was still
alive to them
they didn’t
realize
the distance look
in her eyes
no one realized
until it was too late
by then she was
gone
gone was her
smile
her laugh
in its place
was a Blank
sonic look

Starlight

Starlight
Star bright
I wish I may
I wish with all my might
to find by end of my light

Dark nights

on the darkest of nights
Don’t burn out the lights
One quick swing of the scythe
is all it takes
end of life

heart scream

can you listen to your heart
When it screams
Can you understand
what it says
or do you just feel the pain

Lost

Have you ever been at sea in a dense fog
when it seemed as if tangible white darkness shut you in
and the great ship tense and anxious grouped her way toward the shore
and you waited with beating heart for something more

hide

I fight to hide the tears
I battle the fears
Daily I struggle to understand
Why is this happening
It seems my life is a mess
Nothing makes sense
Nothing ever goes as planned
I don’t know what to do about the stress

Loving You

Loving you is hard to do
All you do is make me blue
Your lips are cold
Your eyes are lost
But still I love you
Whatever the cost
I say nice things to warm your heart
All it does is tear us apart
This heart of mine is so confused
Torn and broken and abused
What do I do as the days go on?
I watch your heart turn into stone
and even though I am blue
I just keep on loving you

You alway told me you loved me
but little did I know
you’d stay for a while then go
You toyed with my emotions
and then tore them all apart
I never though you’d be the one
to try to break my heart
I know deep inside you cared
But you were blind to see
all the pain inside my eyes
When everyone looked at me
I didn’t know when the pain will stop
But until that day comes to me
I know my heart won’t mend

Feelings

I feel like they get caught in the door
Feelings ,I feel like not having them anymore
I look into the mirror and what do I see?
I see a face of confusion that’s the face of me
Feelings, I wish they would not exist
Feelings,I could make a whole list
It would be a list of pain sorrow and regret,
Hope that all of these feelings
I would forget
I wake up in the morning with no hope for today
I go to sleep at night hoping for a miracle will come my way