Med check isn’t possible as I am in a foreign country that doesn’t recognize mental illness . Going to the grocery store here isn’t fun or very interactive I can barely communicate and going out in the sun here just makes me sneeze then get a runny nose ( here it is allergy season) go figure .
I am trying to start a routine I make myself get up at 8:30 am and interact with my in-laws they are nice and try and help they just do not understand bipolar and I have no idea how to find information in arabic about bipolar.
I am trying my best some days it is just one foot in front of the other hope I don’t fall down the dark hole into the quicksand called depression.
I am in a foreign country and that is nice yes its’ nice here but it is getting super boring I mean come on I won’t break if I do a chore or two since I have been here I have been treated like I am sickly well I might have some weird Moroccan virus but so does other people and they live here so stop treating me like I am going to break ( aka my hubby)
I have slept so much since I’ve got here that I can’t sleep anymore sometimes I just come up to my room and lay down just to escape the stares and the talk yes I know that my hubby is making fun of me in a foreign language I’m not stupid just because I have bipolar and dyslexia doesn’t mean I can’t learn it just means that my brain learns differently the one thing about a dyslexic brain is once I finally learn something it sticks and I do not forget it , also just because I can’t pronounce the words does not mean that I don’t understand them also I am very good at reading body language .
I will admit that I have been having a bit of trouble with the bipolar since I had to stop the medications but I have been managing the symptoms to the best of my abilities so far so good it is very hard feeling fine one minute then the next feeling so down and exhausted and sad the next right now I am in what’s called a mixed state both manic and depressed all mixed up like in a blender fine and scrubbing the bathroom clean and shiny then half a hour later hiding in the darkened bedroom and trying to quietly cry and make sure that my eyes don’t get all puffy and red .
Come to find out that my hubby’s family has bipolar in it ( I talked to his sister we used Google translation to bridge the gap and what french I know yes I know mine is mostly food related but what the hay use whatever works ) I like hubby’s Sister a lot she is very nice and she always calls hubby on his crap yes hubby has been pulling some crap lately like yesterday we went to the weekly market and were just looking well he looked everytime I looked he was like no good lets go hello you wouldn’t know good if it bit you on the ass yes I told this to hubby and his sister asked him what I said so he translated and she just laughed and then let into him for being so rude