Hypo manic mixed stateĀ 

skin is antisy and creepy crawling inside with anguish and annoying deep within my soul 

anguished despairing dark deepness of all my life 

depressed despair! filled with grayish green blackness that noone else understands or cares 

its like staring into a abyss and the abyss stares back 

but no matter how deep the abyss is its up to you to jump or not!