Alone and Suffering

You see her standing there

The blank sonic look  on her face

You ask her what is wrong

She replies I’m fine

When in reality she is in pain

She hides the pain and hurt no one sees it

She cries herself  to sleep

In the morning she struggles her day

She has given up on ever finding a  friend

She silently prays that the pain will end

She has battled this demon that people call loneliness and depression she don’t know when

No one understands and care how she feels

She silently Prays that Allah will grant her relief

She feels isolated from the muslim community never really fitting in anywhere

Mostly she stays to herself , best thing you could do to help her is reach out offer to have tea or just talk loneliness hurts more than you know

Please do not judge her she is trying her best to survive  taking it one day at a time

Kindness and caring go along way so does saying as salam alikum sister how are you doing and actually listening because under the softly spoken I’m fine there is a catch and pause in her voice and the look in her eyes cries I’m not ok please hug me and let me know I’m not alone!

But most of the time it is ignored and she just suffers in silence alone as always

 

 

Blue Is…

Blue Is…

Blue is the ocean
Blue is the sky
Blue are the tear drops
people have cried.
Blue is a rain storm
Blue is a flavor
Blue is a summertime,
moments I savior
Blue is a friendship
Blue is a feeling
a broken heart
that’s just begun healing
Blue is the earth
Blue are the stars
Blue’s all around us
this whole world of ours

Cold Spirit

 

When winter parley promenades,and softly
settles blankets white. Then with wailing
lamenting winds,glides in gleaming
might. Shimmering, dances with
the light. The sun in reverence taking leave.
Turns his friendly face another way. Stands afar
at winter’s solstice,lonely,glinting,gliding.
Winter’s cool crisp fingers fondling earth,in
lingering love.Cradling,crafting,caressing.
Her majesty enthroned,sitting,standing
sliding,undisputed queen.Ebbing,fading,fearing spring,dreading
dying.Capitulates,comply s,dispirited,lays
her scepter down.

Fade To Black

You used to hear her mangled call
But now she’s hollow inside
Filled up with drugs and alcohol
And drained of all her pride

As good times always seem to fall,
And memories go out with the tide
Her cares and feelings grow so small
And her soul becomes fates bride

She tried to get ahead in life,
But now she’s lost her mind
She used to have a conscience
But dignity gone blind

She gave her whole life away
To those who can’t give back
And now she’s left with nothing
Stuck in a world that faded black
(this poem is about my sister)

Torn

Torn

You gaze upon me blindly, not seeing the truth.
You see me for what I am not.
I am not like her.
The wings that held me up once were torn by emotion.
My eyes, amber velvet turned opaque green by tears.
My face, once radiant and smiling, now somber and wary by hatred.
This pain stamped an emotional burn upon my life.
Look at me; open your eyes to the sunshine that forever awaits.
A chained heart, sealed with eternal pain…
Breaking the shattered illusion where life was bliss.
Seeing the sun through the mist, through dark clouds…
Shackled forever to this misery, to this hatred.
Old wounds disturbed once again…

Gone

in the cold pale morn
her cold dead lips
shorn
she wasn’t in love
she never was
the death that took her was
quite
excruciating
doctors diagnosed
Depression
but that’s not
why she died
she died
of
despair
loneliness
because
no one cared
no one called
her on the phone
she had no one
no one even
knew where
she lived
at work she was overlooked
the best in her
field
but
no one
noticed
cared
her friends
or so they called
themselves
described her
as
withdrawn
quite
shy
soft-spoken
very timid
around guys
she died
because
no one
loved her
her heart
broke
from
lack of
affection
of human contact
one day
she decides
to disappear
she thought
what’s the use
no one cares
all they do is give me abuse
physical
mental
sexual
i get bullied
and
harassed
at work
by some weirdo jerk
who grabs my ass
the day
she died from
lack of love
no one noticed
they didn’t
see the empty
shell
she was still
alive to them
they didn’t
realize
the distance look
in her eyes
no one realized
until it was too late
by then she was
gone
gone was her
smile
her laugh
in its place
was a Blank
sonic look

Heart Break

Heartbreak is
Cold cruel gut wrenching
My stomach is in knots
My heart is bleeding red blood
As tears slowly well up then tumble-down my face
Stop the pain stop the pain
I silently pray to Allah
I ask him why me why now must I always be in pain
My mind is numb my heart no long feels it has been ripped out
Or stabbed with the invisible knife that only I know and see
I silently beg for relief I pray to Allah to care for my soul

What’s Left Of Me

Watch my life pass me by in a rear view mirror
pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer
I don’t wanna waste another day
stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

cause I want you and I feel you crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger like a burning
to find the place I’ve never been
now I’m broken and I’m faded
I’m half the man I thought I would be
but you can have what’s left of me

I’ve been dying inside
little by little
nowhere to go going out of my mind
and in endless circle
running from myself until
you gave me a reason for standing still

I want you and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger like a burning
to find the place I’ve never been
now I’m broken and I’m faded
I’m half the man I thought I would be
but you can have what’s left of me

Falling faster
barely breathing
give me something to believe in
tell me its not all in my head

take what’s left of this man
make me whole once again

cause I want you and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger, like a burning to find a place I’ve never been
now I’m broken and I’m faded,
I’m half the man I thought I would be
you can have all that’s left
what’s left of me

I’m been dying inside you see
I’m going outa my mind, outa my mind
I’m just wandering in circles all the time
will you take what’s left
will you take what’s left
will you take what’s left of me
just running in circles in my mind
will you take what’s left
will you take what’s left
will you take what’s left of me
take what’s left of me