Crisis! When Someone Doesn’t Like You

Therese J. Borchard

P2180215The other day a child psychologist was telling me about a very rigid, perfectionistic patient of hers.

“I want to control what other people are thinking,” the patient explained.

“How do you think you are going to do that?” the therapist responded.

The 11 year-old brainstormed but couldn’t come up with a solution.

Finally the therapist interrupted her thought process and said, “Do you know what you CAN control?”

“What?”

“What YOU are thinking.”

The young girl paused to think.

“No, that’s not good enough.”

I laughed when I heard the story. As an adult child of an alcoholic, I especially have difficulty when someone doesn’t like me or approve of something I’m doing. And if I like and respect that person, the pain is even deeper. It feels as though the floor under me has disappeared, that I have no grounding or security, and I’m free falling to an…

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