I’ve always loved that reminder because the word “happiness” makes me uneasy.
It’s not that I want to be unhappy, or I don’t want to be happy. It’s that every time I make happiness my goal, I become very unhappy. Like that famous study about suppressing thoughts of white polar bears. When everyone was instructed to think about anything but a white polar bear, they all thought about a white polar bear.
To be completely honest, I even hate the “life is good” t-shirts.
I prefer the “life is crap” ones, such as the one with the cruise ship about to plow over the guy in the canoe. Whenever my husband wears that one, it puts me in a good mood.
I smiled at the discussion on my online depression community, Project Beyond Blue…
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Last year, I was seeing four different doctors: a psychiatrist for my mood disorder; an endocrinologist for my pituitary tumor and thyroid issues; a cardiologist for my aortic valve regurgitation; and a primary care physician for some digestive problems and fungus growth.
I suspected that all of my health problems were connected but each doctor refused to look beyond her specialty to achieve a systemic, balanced perspective of how the conditions were related. I searched for an integrative doctor who could piece together all of my broken parts and help me determine some underlying causes for all of the ailments. After spending a few months with a functional doctor who was very anti-medication, I finally—much like Goldilocks—found the right physician: an internist who was willing to look through my files from past doctors and x-rays that exist somewhere on the internet in order to gain a holistic view at my health.
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