Annoying mood

Diary of a Revert Muslimah

Everything seems to annoy me lately , not sure if it is just due to it being that time of month or what , Yesterday was especially trying because all I wanted to do was curl up into a tight ball and cry yes that is how I felt having cramps from hell it feels like I got drop kicked in the stomach by a horse , I did the natural remedies tried drinking the moon cycle tea and gentle stretching/ massaging my stomach area but nothing helped . It didn’t help that I craved good chocolate and there was none to be found anywhere.

Children were all fussy whiny and when mommy doesn’t feel good that is when they find the need and want to use mommy as a tree, or if there a boy they decide hey lets use mommy’s stomach to practice head banging , then the…

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Words of Encouragement To Sister who suffers from depression

Diary of a Revert Muslimah

Dear sister,May Allah make this easy upon you and  your family! Allahummah Ameen!!! I will offer dua for you and I clearly understand the feeling of depression,darkness and sadness it’s not easy at all. The struggle gets real trying to hide it from your family and children,just remember that Allah will never place anything upon you that you can’t bare. And sadness is not from Allah so hold on tight to his rope . Allah tests Us this is all part of his plan just offer prayer  and remain patience , reach out to friends for support and know you are loved and not alone everyone has struggles of some sort, try and have a good day sister, love your sister in Islam1622001_810512085630770_1327555773_n

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On That Day

Diary of a Revert Muslimah

As salaam alikum

And on that Day when the mountains will move

And the earth will shake with a violent shaking

And no one will be concerned about their fathers or mothers their

children or spouse

And on that Day when the Trumpet will be blown twice

And mankind will appear drunk out of fear of his Lord

And on that Day when eyes will swell up with tears

When the book of deeds will be laid open

And you will see all that you have done in this life

of good and evil and it will be written in numbers

Because you worship a Lord that does not forget!

And on that Day when the whole of earth will die and then be

resurrected so that Judgement may began

And on that day when sweat will pour

out of fear from your Lord

And the heavens will be opened…

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When I say

Diary of a Revert Muslimah

When I say

When I say I am a Muslim

I am not shouting “down with Christians and Jews.”

I am whispering, “I seek peace”

And Islam is the path that I choose.

When I say I am a Muslim

I speak this with pride.

And confess that sometimes I stumble,

And I need Allah to be my guide.

When I say I am a Muslim

I know this makes me strong.

And in those times when I am weak,

I pray to Allah for strength to carry on.

When I say I am a Muslim

I am not boasting of success.

I’m acknowledging that Allah has rescued me,

And I cannot ever repay the debt.

When I say I am a Muslim

I am not claiming to be perfect.

My flaws are indeed visible,

But Allah forgives because His followers are worth it.

When I say I am a…

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Days Go By

Days go by without hearing you mother…

Every night I gaze at the stars,

That lay peacefully upon the sky,

And wonder …

How Allah created Something that looks so small,

Yet shines so brightly,

From its distance…

I see you when I see that star, mother,

But I do recall a memory,

That has ran through my veins and pumps within my heart

Since the time,

Father whispered Allah’s Words during my infancy…

I do recall that night
When clouds blocked my gaze,
And Thunder had driven away
The soothing sounds of the leaves dancing together…
That sound still echoes through me,
And rumbles my nerves until I shiver,
I was nothing more than a child
To understand what happened
That very night,
But if your voice was not heard
To comfort my childhood fears,
Then doom has come forth to us all, dear mother…
The rain has now descended from your eyes,
I see this…
I see all of this, But why can’t I hear you mother?
Days go by without seeing you,
Father…
Long after I have prayed Fajr,
I watch the sun rise from Beneath the mighty hilltops,
Half of it is in my eyes,
But the other half is hidden
In some other world
That I would never understand,
I remember your smile when I see the sun,
Father,
But I do recall a memory
That has brought shame to my heart
The pain,
So extreme that it has scarred my body within…
Oh father,
I do recall that night
When lightening struck instead
And the wind screamed…
Screamed so loudly
That I sweat to this day,
My voice will always remain mute when I speak of this memory…
Yes, you were taken away from me,
By our enemies,
But your smile speaks otherwise…
And, yes,
I did scent Death lingering in the air,
But your smile speaks otherwise…
And, yes,
I begged for them to spare you,
But your smile speaks otherwise…
And, yes …
They did gather you among more men…
And formed a line,
That couldn’t end in my eyes,
Nor, to the rest of my people across the country…
Oh, but such fools they are…
For, they only created a Path for the men to,
Inshallah, enter Paradise…
Your smile remains…
Oh father,
I run towards the endless rows of men,
To free you from torment and despair,
But stumble upon rocks,
My flesh …
Ripped from my bones…
A path is formed,
As my blood runs down my body,
A path is formed,
As my tears drop to the ground,
And the ground,
Where my brother stand strongly…
Forms a Path…
My Destiny…
I search for you, father,
But notice your picture settled beside my legs,
Stained from my blood,
Damp from your tears,
And raise my head in sorrow, and walk…
As days turned into years,
I left from fear
But I was nothing more than a child to understand,
So tell me,
Father,
Would you still have smiled?

Days go by without happiness…

Oh father …

When you died I walked…

I walked until my blood became still,

And found myself looking at a desert,

This was once where our home stood,

Where you and mother once stood,

Where happiness once stood..

But evil destroyed it…

Their hearts are molted with lava…

That has dried because tears were not shed,

But Anger conquered it,

And turned their hearts into stone,

Have they no pain?

Oh, father,

You smiled until the last drop of blood settled onto the ground…

Haven’t you any pain?

My heart is shot,

My voice screams…

Oh,

Mother,

You recited until the last breath was exhaled into the air…

Haven’t you any pain?

My veins explode…

My eyes burst…

Oh mankind,

You hear what they have done,

And you see what they have done,

Yet you still disbelieve…

Haven’t you any pain?

Oh mankind,

You cherish what is beside you,

Instead of cherishing Allah and His Blessings

Yet you still disbelieve…

Haven’t you any pain?

When your children listen to the sound of thunder,

In the West,

They bury their faces into their mother’s chest, from fear,

And cry until the end..

But until the end,

We whisper Allah’s Words graciously in our hearts,

With nothing, but a rock in our hands,

When the sounds are heard…

Oh mankind, how can your ignorance blind you from what Allah has bestowed upon this land?

Did prophet Muhammad (S) not journey to this land at night from Mecca? And,

Miraculously,

Arrive in Masjud-il-Aqsa under the same moon?

Did he then not ascend to the highest skies of the Heavens,

Where only the Best will be rewarded?

I sit here on the ground,

And stare at the sky,

This is my home,

The only home…

Sometimes I feel ashamed to even touch the dirt, in my home,

Because it has been touched by such purity in the past,

That is not known to mankind since that time,

And that has not been witnessed by mankind,

Since that time, But only written in words for our eyes to see,…

Oh ya Allah,

You are the Lord of this world and the Hereafter,

You are the Lord of the Unseen and Mankind,

You are the Lord of everything I see around me,

You are the Eternal,

And Most Merciful,

You are the Best in All,

You are my Lord,

So,

Please,

Ya Allah,

Grant me my dreams…

Oh,

Ya Allah,

Please let me suffer instead of having luxury,

Oh,

Ya Allah,

Please grant us victory

And, please give me the courage of my parents,

Please only let me fear You,

Ya Rub

Don’t protect me from torture in this world,

But protect me in the Hereafter,

Please Ya Rub,

Let me die as my parents did,

Please let me fight my enemies for You,

And for victory of my people,

Ya Rub, please let me die by a sword,

With my mother’s voice in my mind,

My father’s smile on my face,

And Your Words in my heart,

Let my face glow that day,

As I fall to the ground,

Let my blood fall that day,

As seeds are spread on the earth,

Let my tears sprinkle that day,

As roses flourish the ground,

Let my soul rise that day,

As the petals fly by the wind’s Power,

And, please,

Oh Rahman,

Let Your Light welcome our faces,

Warmly, Ya Rub- ul- ‘Alamin… Ameen…

I sit here alone

I Sit Here

 I sit here all alone and my eyes are flooded with tears
 Who is there for me, to express my heart’s fears?
 
 I sit here and wait, for soon, that day will come
 When I shall have to answer for everything I have done
 I sit here and I wonder what will happen on that day
 When our limbs will speak and our tongue will have no say?

 I sit here by my self where no body can see me cry
 What will I say on that day when one cannot lie?
 
 I sit here and think of my sins that I have committed
 And hope that on that day, that they will be omitted
 
 I sit here and my heart feels broken in two
 I hope, that on that day, my fears will not be true
 
 I sit here, where Allah sees me from above high
 I turn towards Allah, asking for forgiveness, and drawing a sigh!

 I sit here whilst my tears flow into my ears
 Hoping to gain some love from the One who is feared
 
 I sit here, shivering and hoping that on that day
 RasulAllah (saw) will not turn his blessed face away
 
 I sit here; I ask, plead and beg Ya Allah!
 Make me not from those upon you have sent your wrath
 
 I sit here, close my eyes and listen to the Quran
  Ya Allah, when I return to You, let it be with Imaan

 I sit here and whilst wiping my tears away
 I ask from Allah one thing, Don’t let me go astray!

You Will Be Honored

As Salam Alaikum,

Oh you wrapped up in white garments,

you will be honored.

You will be honored with a thorough washing and shrouding.

You will be honored for the good you put forth in this life

You will be prayed for and you will be prayed over!

Oh you wrapped up in white garments,

you will be honored.

You will be honored by those whom you prayed with, ate with, and

loved in this life.

Oh you wrapped up in white garments,

you will be honored with fine cloths, sweet scents and gracious words

from your brethren.

But remember, Oh you wrapped up in white garments,

you will be questioned. You will be alone in your niche, in your

space where no one will be next to you, where no soul will aid you in

answering your Lord.

You will be asked those three questions, you will be rewarded for

your good deeds and punished for your evil,

Oh you wrapped in white garments, remember you worshiped a Lord that

is Merciful, Forgiving and Kind. Remember that the Quran will speak

for you or against you on Yammul Qiyyamah.

Remember, Oh you wrapped up in white garments that the Angel of Death

is near waiting for the command of His Lord, to take your soul from

your body and that Angel hastens to please and obey His Lord.

Oh you wrapped up in white garments leave behind good deeds that will

benefit you in the grave where you will be left alone,

Once the footsteps have gone, once the dirt has been laid.

There you will come to know that,

Oh you wrapped up in white garments, the true test has begun!