begging for relief

I am a bipolar rootless wander I have no place to call my own

I am sad and lonely no matter were I roam

all I want is a place of my own a place were my heart and soul are happy

everyday I wake to the struggle I try to be happy but it seems my world has been painted in shades of gray and muted colors.

I beg Allah to release me from this unending unrelenting pain

I feel like a freak I do not fit in anywhere  i am the odd ball out no one seems to hear me shout 

my world is like living in a bubble and not understanding why others can’t see or feel your pain .

no one realizes how hard it is to get up and carry on your way, every tasks is like climbing a really high mountain with out much air

2 thoughts on “begging for relief

  1. I think sometimes even if others can relate to your pain, they don’t know how to help. One thing I realized about depression in hindsight is what worked for me might not work for somebody else, it seems like each person’s depression comes from a different source and shows itself differently. I only know my own, even when I can see it in others. It also looks different when you’re not in it than when you’re in it, even in oneself. For a long time, I rejected help anyway. It felt like it made things worse. I didn’t realize things had to get worse before they would get better. There are different roads out at different times for different people, some not recommended. I suppose you have probably tried therapists before, but maybe it’s time to try someone else, something new. At least they will have different ideas and they will have seen many kinds, and they will have seen different things that work for different people.

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