Perhaps only when I truly…

Perhaps only when I truly learn to stop seeking it there at times of loneliness, will I find a relationship I cannot destroy.

Working up the courage to attend any community event has always been something both physically and emotionally draining and ultimately more depressing as it tends to drive the point home even further. Grappling with my health conditions this year just to complete fasting has left me wondering if I really must summon the energy to dare to try again to venture into the world of local muslims, perhaps a new mosque or a new gathering, just to see if something will be different this time, even though I realize I am the common denominator in my own life. I feel an obligation to do something, but there are enough practical difficulties (also known as excuses) in the way that I haven’t yet forced myself to do so this year.